This Article is really imp,and everyone must read it…as there are many muslims who don;t treat there parents well…so lets read…
Allah (SWT) speaks about the importance of honouring one’s parents in the Qur`an, placing it second only to the worship of and pleasing Him.
“Worship Allah and join not any partners with him; and do good to parents…” [An-Nisa 4:36]
“Your Rabb has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to your parents…” [Al-Isra‘ 17:23]
“And we have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) ‘Show gratitude to Me and to your parents – to Me is (your final) Goal.’” [Luqman 31: 14]
The Example of the Prophets& earlier generations
How do we love, respect and revere our parents? We should take the cue from the Prophets (AS) and the righteous generations who fully understood our parents’exalted position and strove hard to fulfil their rights.
Allah praised Yahya (AS) for he was kind to his parents in their old age –
“And (Prophet Yahya was) dutiful towards his parents and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient (to Allah or to his parents).” [Maryam 19:14]
He also singled out `Isa (AS) who was devoted to his mother – “…And dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblest.” [Maryam 19:32]
Asir ibn Jaabir (RA) narrated:
Whenever people would come from Yemen, `Umar (RA) would ask them, “Is Uways Al-Qaranee amongst you?” until, one year, he met Uways. He said, “Are you Uways Al-Qaranee?” He said, “Yes.” `Umar continued, “From Muraad, then Qaran?” He said, “Yes.” `Umar then asked, “Were you once afflicted with leprosy and your skin healed except for a dirham’s area?” Uways said, “Yes.” `Umar finally asked, “Do you have a mother (that is alive)?” He said, “Yes.” `Umar then said, “I heard theMessenger of Allah – (SAW) – say, ‘Uways ibn Aamir will come to you with the delegations from Yemen, from Muraad, then from Qaran. He was once afflicted with leprosy and his skin healed except for a dirham’s area. He has a mother, and he treats her kindly. If he was to ever swear by Allah (for something) Allah would fulfill his oath. If you can, request that he ask forgiveness for you.” `Umar then requested from Uways, “Ask forgiveness for me.” And Uways Al-Qaranee did.
Look at how Allah honoured Uways – he fulfilled his every du`aa because he was dutifulto his mother.
Beware of `Uquq!
Al-Hasan al-Basri said,
“Birr towards parents entailsobeying their orders, except when what they order is in disobedience of Allah. In contrast, `Uquq entails neglecting parents and withholding one’s kindness from them.” [Ad-Durr al-Manthur]
In fact, disobeying our parents is a grievous sin –
Abu Bakrah Nufay’ ibn al-Harith said,
“The Messenger of Allah (SAW) asked us three times, ‘Shall I tell you the greatest sins?’ We said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah!’ He said, “Associating partners with Allah and disobeying one’s parents.” [Bukhari & Muslim]
The Prophet (SAW) reminded us not to incur our parents’ displeasure when he said,
“The Lord’s Pleasure is connected to the parents’ pleasure and the Lord’s Anger is connected to the parents’ anger.” [Kitabul-Kabair]
Look at this narration of Abdullah ibn Abu Aufa about the man who had wounded his mother’s feelings:
A man said, “O Allah’s Messenger! There s a young man who is dying and is commanded to recite La ilaaha illallah, but he is unable to recite it.” The Prophet (SAW) went to the young man and ordered him,“Say La ilaaha illallah!” He replied, “I cannot.” The Prophet asked him why and he said, “Every time I want to recite it, my heart is prevented from doing so.” The Prophet asked him why and he said, “Because of my `uquq (undutiful treatment) towards my mother.”
The Prophet (SAW) sent for her and asked her, “What if I commanded that a great fireis started and you were asked to invoke Allah to forgive your son, or else he would be thrown in it?” She said, “In that case, I will invoke Allah for him, O Allah’sMessenger!” The Prophet then said, “Then bear witness to Allah and then to me that you have forgiven him.” She said, “I bear witness to You (O Allah) and then to Your Messenger that I have forgiven my son.”
The Prophet (SAW) said to the young man, “Say La ilaaha illallah!” The man said,” La ilaaha illallahu wahdahu la sharika lahu! (There is no deity worthy of worship but Allah Alone without partners)” The Prophet (SAW) said thrice, “All praise is due to Allah for saving you from the Fire.” [At-Tabarani]
The fact of the matter is thatno matter what and how much we do, we can never fully repay our parents for all that they have done for us.
Ibn `Umar saw a Yemeni making tawaf of the Ka`bah, carrying his mother. The man said, “I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think that I have paid her back, O Ibn `Umar?” He replied, “No, not even one contraction. However, you have done good and Allah will reward you tremendously for the little that you could do.” [Al-Kaba’ir]
Birr Towards Our Parents
There are many ways in which we can be dutiful to our parents. This list is by no means exhaustive:
1. Go to every extent to please them
We should make our parents’happiness and comfort a topmost priority. Dhibyaan ibn `Ali ath-Thawri (RA) used to travel with his mother to Makkah. When they rested, he would dig a little pool, fill it with cool water and invite his mother to sit in it so she could be protected from the searing heat.
Mu`awiyah ibn Qurrah used to praise his son saying, “What an excellent son, he took care of my life affairs for me and that allowed me to concentrate on matters ofthe Hereafter.” [Hilyatul-Auliya’]
2. Protect their feelings
We should never cause our parents grief or hurt them even by a fraction. Allah said,
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not tothem, ‘Uff’ nor shout at thembut address them in terms ofhonour. And lower unto themthe wing of submission and humility through mercy and say, ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’ …” [Al-Isra’ 17: 17:23-24]
Ibn `Umar also said, “Bringingtears to parents is a part of `Uquq and a major sin.” [Bukhari]
3. Address them respectfully
When asked how one can address one’s parents in “terms of honour”, Sa`id ibn Musayyab (RA) said, “ It means that you address them as a servant addresses a master. “
Indeed, the early generations were so respectful that they were almost submissive and obsequious to their parents, no matter how high a status they themselves had attained.
Abu Bakr ibn Ayyash said, “ I used to sit with Mansur (a scholar) in his house and would hear his mother, who was loud and rude, shout at him, “O Mansur! Ibn Hubairah(governor of Iraq at that time) appointed you to the post of judge but you refuse.’Mansur would not even look her in the eye out of respect. ” [Al-Birr was-Silah by Ibn al-Jawzee]
Ibn Sirin used to speak to his mother in such a soft voice that it seemed as though he were ill.
4. Visit them regularly
Remember that severing tiesof kinship is a major sin. For those of us who do not live with our parents, we would do well to look in on them regularly.
Abu Hurairah (RA) had a beautiful relationship with his mother. He lived in the house next to hers and would make it a point to stand at her door whenever he went out and say,
“Peace be unto to you, my mother, and Allah’s mercy and blessings.” She would reply, “Peace be unto you and Allah’s mercy and blessings.” He would then say, “May Allah grant you His Mercy for raising me when I was young,” and she would reply, “May Allah grant you His Mercy for being dutiful to me when you grew up.” Abu Hurairah would often repeat this statement when he went in or out. [Bukhari]
5. Make du`aa for them
Abu Dardaa (RA) has reported that the Messengerof Allah (SAW) said,
“The du`aa of a Muslim for another Muslim (in his absence) is responded to, as long as he makes du`aa for goodness and blessings. And the angel says, “Aameen! And may the same be for youtoo!” [Muslim]
6. Continue doing good for them even after they die
The Prophet (SAW) said: “When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end exceptthree: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has leftbehind), or a righteous child who will pray for him.” [Tirmidhi]
We should not cease to seek forgiveness for our deceasedparents , for the Prophet (SAW) said:
“ A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he willask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you. ” [Ibn Maajah]
We can also perform acts of charity on their behalf. Ibn ‘Abbaas (RA)ma reported that the mother of Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah (RA)ma died when he was away from her. He said:
“O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died and I am away from her. Will it benefither anything if I give in charity on her behalf?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then I ask you to be my witness that I am giving my garden al-Mikhraaf (so called because it bore so many dates) in charity on her behalf.” [Al-Bukhari]
jazakAllah khair for reading,